Has your intimate life slid into the realms of stale / stagnant / predictable / boring or just plain unsatisfying? The good news is that it doesn’t have to stay that way. Here are some simple tips to add the spice back to your bedroom.
1. Open Your Mind(s)
A more fulfilling sex life begins in our minds as much as anywhere else. So before anything, both partners must have an open mind about changing things up. Talk to your partner and gauge his/her feelings. Keep the conversation light and steer clear from blame. After all, the goal is to have more FUN together, not start an argument. Plus, simply bringing upthe conversation can cause shifts; your partner may have been thinking the same thing but didn’t want to offend you.
2. Location, Location, Location
Why limit intimacy to the bedroom?Look for other places within the privacy of your home to make some passionate memories. Spontaneity alone can add a new dimension and leave predictability long behind. And this doesn’t mean you have to completely neglect home base–what begins on the couch (or loveseat or carpetor dining room table) can be concluded in the familiar comfort of the bed.
3. Learn From the Experts
As with any research topic, consider learning from those who have studied it or who do it for a living. Peruse a sexual positions manual with your partner, or watch an instructional video together. Or for advanced studies, try watching an adult video for mood enhancement as well as instruction. There are several couple-oriented adult films that are made for people just like you.
4. The Foreplay before the Foreplay
There are a number of shared activities that can stoke the fires ofarousal long before things move tothe bedroom. Romantic dinners and dancing are two obvious examples, but there are many, many others. Fireside cuddling, ceramic painting, trading massages, stargazing from the rooftop, sketching one another andwatching the moonlit sea together are all only a handful of the endless possibilities. What mattersis enjoying each other’s company and priming the pump for things to come.
5. The Details
Setting a sensual mood can do wonders for enlivening an intimate experience. Soft music, candles, incense, rose petals, scented oils, satin sheets, foamy bubble baths, chilled chocolate-coated strawberries—these are all romantic atmosphere clichés for a reason. They often work.
6. Dress the Part
No matter your body shape, there is flattering nightwear for you and your partner. Use the texture of those sensual fabrics to tease yourlover’s senses and to create a whole new experience for you both.
7. If at First You Don’t Succeed…Experiment.
Mix and match ideas and techniques. Adapt them to youand your partner. Ask around. Try new things. And understand that the joy can be in the journey; looking for new things to try can create laughter and stimulating conversation, which in turn can bring you and your partner closer together. Ironically, that may be all the spice your bedroom needs.
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